“Studying the events of time – history – is as important as studying science, if not more important – it helps you understand what man is.” (John Little, 2021).
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Of all the things I have learned so far in this master’s program on “Happiness Studies,” ranging from methods and techniques that develop physical and emotional wellness to rituals that strengthen mental and spiritual well-being, for me, two concepts underscore all of it: 1) growth mindset and 2) the permission to be human. Without these two fundamentals, it seems unlikely that any individual, government, leader, or society will “shape better policies and prescriptions for the future” (McMahon, 2018).
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To feel accepted, you have to be willing to face the uncomfortable feelings of not being accepted.
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Occasionally, as we go about our daily routines, out of nowhere, something small in our worlds comes into more precise focus.
A subtle yet illuminating insight is delivered. I’m unsure why this happens, nor could I describe the exact conditions that make up these experiences. All I know is that they seem connected to our ability to notice what we witness as we find ourselves in heightened states of observation. Ones that go beyond seeing what’s happening to observe our own experiences of what’s happening.
As Bruce D. Schneider, founder of iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching), puts it –
Read MoreIt's like “being a participant and observer… at the same time.”
Anyone who plays or follows the game of tennis knows that as sports go, it is one of the most mentally demanding. On a quiet court, just you and your opponent, with down time between each point, your thoughts are yours alone. No matter your skill, regardless of the power of your groundstrokes or softness of your hands at the net, no matter if your serve is on or your forehand is killing it that day, thoughts intrude. Your confidence, your mindset, your PRESENCE can make or break a match result.
In tennis - and in life - our thoughts, our attitude, ALWAYS sets the tone for success or failure.
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Have you ever found yourself wondering how to embody forgiveness and compassion, while also respecting your own personal boundaries? Whenever we feel a boundary getting crossed, it’s not only normal, it’s completely reasonable to feel tension with our innate capacity to love, forgive and extend kindness. So, how do we reconcile our urge to live compassionately, while also honoring our values and respecting our boundaries? To answer this question, I think it’s worth exploring the meaning of the words– “boundary” and “compassion.”
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Recently, it dawned on me how funny (and symbolic) it is that my last day on the job before jumping into the deep-end of starting my own business was HALLOWEEN! And, yes, I dressed-up... as a "Spice Girl" in fact, which meant I was the "Paprika" of our marketing team's McCormick spice rack ; ). Spiiiicy, I know!
Looking back on that day in 2014, I remember feeling like I was about to put on a new costume. Here I was, a 17-year veteran to the world of advertising and marketing, about to embark on the road of personal and professional development, AND entrepreneurship. I was about to start my own practice as an Executive Coach, and put on what felt like at first, a new costume.
That’s right, when I look back, I can clearly see that the parts of my life I was neglecting, could have actually helped me show-up less stressed and more at ease in the parts of my life that I was heavily pushing.
There’s something to be said about the concept of “well-roundedness.” Let’s just say that I’ve come to notice that when I expand my focus beyond a narrow fixation, all pressure and stress diminishes, allowing for a wider, more expansive perspective to come into my awareness. With this, comes a sense of peace and calm, as I playfully engage with a vast array of broader possibilities.
To illustrate this point, I love to use iPEC’s (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) “Wheel Of Life.” Of course, what I’m about to describe is my own interpretation of this model.
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Look, I know all of the expectations loaded into the phrase “wouldn’t it be nice,” sound, well… reeeeeeeally nice; but, what if I told you that our need for such pleasantries could actually be holding us back from greater possibilities?
What if on the other side of your need to control what’s “safe” is where real growth, creativity and tolerance begins? What if your expectations of how the world is “supposed to be” is actually overlooking the REALITY of “what it actually is”? We can easily label our existence dualistically – it has highs and lows, good and evil, pains and joys, and many ups and downs.
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As I contemplate the new year ahead, there’s a word I’m suddenly finding disempowering, and it’s surprises even me! It’s the word that so many of us think of around this time of year, too – as one calendar closes and a new one opens. The word? GOAL.
I know, I know, I’m an Executive and Career Transition coach and I just admitted something seemingly sacrilegious within my field. Heck, I’ve written content on how to craft goals that draw us in with excitement and motivation. Yet, this year, the idea of pushing a list of goals into the world isn’t really inspiring me in any way, shape or form. If you’re like me, or many of my clients who’ve worked within a corporate setting, you too might find yourself having a visceral reaction to the word “GOAL.” Maybe you’re experiencing that funny feeling right now, at the mere mention of word! You know the one…
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Over the past year, I've had the privilege to get invited to a few great podcasts -- "Live Blissed Out" (hosted by Marisa Huston) "Uncover The Human," (hosted by Cristina Amigoni and Alex Cullimore) "Right Place, Right Now," (hosted by Brandon Johnson and Travis Fields) and a podcast I did back in 2016 with "Profit Boss" (hosted Hilary Hendershott) was republished. So, if you're looking for good audio content for your next long drive or walk, I've added links below to each of these episodes.
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As I’ve seen with so many of my courageous clients, friends and family members, transformation almost always happens when we do our best to neutrally grasp what’s happening, while also taking full ownership to accept our own emotions, even the painful ones.
So, for what it’s worth, below is a list of some of my most painful emotions, released out of the proverbial bag. I’m going to acknowledge them first, and then seek guidance from their intelligence, rather than continue to allow them to hold me back. There’s always a solution on the other side of our problems – challenges and possibilities exist on two sides of the exact same coin.
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