Goals, Shmoals
Here’s a more empowering way to experience the year ahead.
written by Nina Cashman
As I contemplate the new year ahead, there’s a word I’m suddenly finding disempowering, and it’s surprising even me! It’s a word that so many of us think about this time of year, as one calendar closes and a new one opens.
The word? GOAL.
I know, I know, I’m an Executive and Career Transition Coach and I just admitted something seemingly sacrilegious within my field. Heck, I’ve written content on how to craft goals that draw us in with excitement and motivation. Yet, this year, the idea of pushing a list of goals into the world isn’t quite inspiring me in any way, shape or form. If you’re like me, or many of my clients who’ve worked within a corporate setting, you too might find yourself having a visceral reaction to the word “GOAL.”
Maybe you’re experiencing that funny feeling right now, at the mere mention of word! You know the one – it sort of feels like swallowing salt, as you contemplate some obligatory “quantitative goal,” cascaded down to you by some other corporate nerd in your building. I mean, your lifeless gaze and open-mouthed breathing says it all (and we’re all thinking it with you), as you stare at that list of lackluster goals…
BOoooOOOOOOooooRING!
Now, add the acronym “B.H.A.G.” (“Big Hairy Audacious Goal”) on top of all of this, and you might as well eat salt for dinner! I’m getting a little anxious just thinking about it. Who knew something so demotivating could be so, well… “stimulating”?
Okay, okay, I’ll admit, maybe I’m getting ever so slightly dramatic over here. At the same time, I can’t even tell you how many instances I’ve witnessed clients shut down at the mere mention of the “g-word.” And, I’m beginning to understand why. So many of our goals limit us from bringing our ideas fully to life. We often expect either way too much, or not enough, prior to ever giving ourselves the chance to gauge our full capabilities, play with our hunches, and explore the full depth of our visions.
There’s something about experimenting with ideas and experiencing the world’s feedback that stokes the fires of inspiration. Yet, I’m finding that so many of our “goals” actually put a plug in our motivational fountain, which could otherwise overflow, if we were more open to allowing ideas to unfold without the distracting limitations of how we think they are supposed to look.
You may have caught yourself asking these questions before – “Why can’t I get my ideas flowing?” “Why can’t I get my aspirations off the ground?” Or, “Why do I feel unmotivated and stuck?”
Dare I say… MAYBE it’s your BORING ASS GOALS getting in the way!?!?
Once again, sacrilegious, I know. As highly seasoned professionals, most of us are paid to be “goal and action oriented.” So, it makes sense that many of us will likely want to clamor to our “S.M.A.R.T. Goals.” Admitting that any of our goals could actually be inhibiting our inspiration, creativity, and momentum seems counter-intuitive to everything we’ve been taught about goals. The idea that goals could actually be imposing distractions, as opposed to catalysts towards success is not how we’re programmed to think about salt, er… I mean, goals ; ).
Yet, as leaders of our families, teams, communities, and our own lives, maybe there’s a more motivating way to reset our intentions and establish direction for the year ahead? One that keeps us open to new possibilities that we could never even have imagined on our own.
I’d like to propose a new approach, and to open ourselves up to it, we may want to consider asking these three simple questions:
“How incredibly boring are my goals?”
“Do my goals inspire and motivate me to take action?” and finally,
“Do any of my goals actually make me think about eating salt?”
If your answers fall along the lines of:
“extremely,”
“not really or not even remotely,” and
“YES – help!”…
THEN, this could be your wake-up call to ditch your goals and try something new this year.
Perhaps you’d consider replacing your goals with something else?
Something a little more expansive, freeing, and inspiring. Something that’s a little simpler and leaves room for the myriad of ways your creativity could come to life through the support of the great big universe. Something that offers plenty of time, space and opportunity for you to test things out in various ways, so that you can learn, adjust, play and try things again without attachment to any limited expectations. This something could allow you to modify your direction as you go, based on any information you gather about what’s working and not working.
So, what IS this “something”?
Let’s call it a simple “state of being,” which you can claim and visualize, right now, in the present moment, and feel with ALL OF YOUR SENSES. It’s so powerful that you won’t ever have to wait for some salty goal to come to fruition, in order to experience it. It doesn’t exist in the future — it lives inside of us and can be accessed in the here and now.
It’s precisely what will generate momentum, inspiration and the motivation we desire, in order to give us power to create the lives we want. It’s like an ocean swell – once risen, its momentum becomes unstoppable. It’ll carry us all the way without us ever having to push, resist or force it. Why? Because it’ll take on a life force of its own. I think it could accomplish more than goals alone could ever define; after all, the powerful ocean is already made of salt and there’s no need to push it ; ).
Remember the ancient Chinese proverb – “Don’t push the river, it flows by itself.”
For 2022, the state of being I’m claiming is… drumroll please… “EMPOWERMENT.”
This will entail that I let-go of an old habit of mine – people pleasing – and instead, replace it with conscious, intentional choices and actions. It also means that I will try and consciously seek empowerment when it comes to where I place my focus, time, and efforts, as well as how I choose to show-up in all areas of my life – both personal and professional.
So, what will I accomplish by claiming this word?
Of course, I cannot say for sure – and that’s the beauty and excitement of it! A state of being is limitless in nature, so only life itself can color our meaning of it. I’m pretty sure though, that in order for me to fully experience empowerment, it’ll require that I relinquish control of what I think it means and surrender to all the possibilities of what it could become. This means… at least I think… (gulp)… letting go of my once beloved goals (and that includes all B.H.A.G.’s : ) )!
That’s right, no more, “accomplish X, Y times, by Z date,” or “grow X by Y percent.” Nope, not for me this year.
That’s precisely what I’d like to move beyond in 2022, and instead, play within the great big space of infinite possibilities. I have a strong sense that powerful forces beyond my finite brain will be able to show me a thing or two about empowerment ; ). In other words, I’d like to learn how to trust the existing flow of life’s (already salted) currents, versus trying to sway an uncontrollable force with my own salty goals!
So, goodbye 2021 and farewell to my old, disempowering goals. For me, 2022 is the year of EMPOWERMENT. I’ll let you know how my new goal-less aim goes. Ha — it almost sounds like “lawless aim,” doesn’t it?! And, if you’d like to try-out a little of this “lawlessness” with me, then I’d love to hear how it goes for YOU!
Either way, goals, shmoals or no goals, what state of being might YOU claim for yourself in the year ahead?