THE SPACE BETWEEN CONTRARIES

Isn’t it funny how we resist life’s flow when things don’t go our way? A relationship ends, a job is lost, or an unexpected change takes place, and what do most of us do? We resist our circumstances, of course! Fighting, pushing, avoiding, and shrinking, we refuse to accept anything that doesn’t match our firm expectations. So filled to the brim with judgments and expectations, we cannot see the nearby gifts blossoming in circumstances resisted. As highlighted in the video “The Art of Effortless Living (Taoist Documentary)”—

“The unity we seek is already there, but it is only revealed when we trust the world. Changing the world in the hope of discovering unity is like a knife trying to cut itself” (Jason Gregory, 2019).

Oh, but trust is much easier said than done. Especially when we experience hardships that contradict anything we could have expected. Herein, though, lies an empty space of possibility – when what “we want” clashes with what “we get.”

Back to the great Master’s work, the “Tao Te Ching,” Lao Lzu reminds us – “Gravity is the root of lightness; stillness, the ruler of movement.” These profound words are worth a read a few times over.

Nina CashmanOctober 28, 2024Pave Your Way Comments

: ) How To Be Happy Even If The Election Makes You Unhappy : (

Call me an optimist or maybe even a realist, but I cannot bring myself to believe that half of our nation’s citizens are just plain stupid or wrong. I have too much faith in humankind. However, I admit many people will be unhappy with the final election results. So, I’ve decided to draw on the writings of the great French Philosopher and Mathematician Emilie Du Chatelet to inspire half of us to stay happy, regardless of the election’s outcome.

In her “Discourse on Happiness,” written in the mid-eighteenth century, Du Chatelet recommends several ways to increase our happiness. She goes so far as to say, “As long as we prefer to endure life, we must open ourselves to pleasure by all the doors leading to our soul; we have no other business” (Du Chatelet, 1746).

So, here are some simple ways to live a happy and fulfilling life, no matter the outcome of the presidential election:

Bring On The Mess

So, accepting rather than resisting the normal human “messiness” we often face brings us one step closer to a phenomenon I like to refer to as “empowered powerlessness.” This is when we allow our old definitions and judgments of ourselves and the world around us to melt away, so we can create space to hear, see, and feel the infinite wisdom of the vast world around us. It is when we fully integrate the concept of “I do not know what I do not know” – and suddenly, wow, the world becomes a more interesting, magical place! I love how Wheatley reinforces this idea –

“The world becomes ever more fearsome as we realize the depths of our ignorance and confront our true powerlessness. Yet it is from this place, from an acknowledgment of our ignorance and lack of power, the call can go out for a new story” (Wheatley, 1998).

Appreciate It, Shred It, and Let It Go

Earlier this week, I found myself thoroughly enjoying a solid hour of paper shredding. I know it is very Gen X of me to use paper for my handwritten notes. Still, there’s something very satisfying about letting go of the old piles in your life to make room for whatever is next.

Nina CashmanAugust 21, 2024Pave Your WayComment

“Just Be.” It Ain't Always So Easy.

“Just Be.” We hear it all the time. Feeling stressed? “Just be.” Anxious? “Just be.” Running around like a busy chicken with your head cut off? “Just be.” Overactive mind? “Easy, JUST BE!”

I want to take a moment and validate anyone who has ever felt slightly perplexed by the statement “just be.” Life involves doing… and for many of us, maybe depending on your stage of life, LOTS OF IT.

How Do You Perceive Stress?

Dr. Kelly McGonigal of Stanford University has done some amazing studies on stress and how it impacts people who view it as harmful versus helpful.

Happiness. It's What's for Dinner.

Here’s what I’ve noticed. For some, it seems happiness isn’t enough – instead, words like “bliss,” “joy,” “manifestation,” or “infinite possibility” are preferred. I even recently heard someone refer to those choosing happiness as “living in a happiness fractal” ; )! As if the pursuit of one’s well-being is somehow inadequate? I must say, this statement made me laugh… quite happily!

Allow The Story to Unfold

How many opportunities do we miss by skipping too quickly to an end goal, an outcome, or an instantaneous answer that gives us a momentary grasp of control but prohibits any experience from unfolding? Think about it. When did your haste of needing an answer before there were any answers block you from getting anywhere? Moreover, how could these impulses to skip over life’s processes to reach goals have prohibited your visions from unfolding?

In his powerful TED Talk, the great Conductor and Music Director of the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra, Benjamin Zander, describes how to listen to Chopin by highlighting the piece’s “deceptive cadence,” as it teases the anticipated end note multiple times throughout the piece before finally hitting it, of course, at the very end.

Nina CashmanJanuary 18, 2024Pave Your WayComment

A Loaded List For A Happier, Healthier You in 2024

In the U.S., we spend nearly 20% of our Gross Domestic Product on healthcare. At the same time, our healthcare outcomes are worse than those of other developed countries. According to Integrative Health pioneer Andrew Weil, as of 2017, “the World Health Organization ranked the United States 37th in health outcomes” (Weil, 2017). Weil goes on to make a very interesting point –

“I would argue that we don’t have a healthcare system in America. We have a disease management system that’s functioning very imperfectly and getting worse by the day. The sad fact is that the diseases we are trying to manage are mostly diseases rooted in lifestyle choices. They have to do with how people are eating, their lack of physical activity, how they handle stress or don’t handle it. All these factors are really apart from looking at the physical body.”

In our Happiness Studies Master’s Program, we have learned about many different methodologies that support the principles of integrative medicine, which Dr. Weil sees as a solution to broaden our healthcare system and strengthen its outcomes. Before I give my thoughts on an integrative health system that could better serve individuals and society, let me briefly summarize the five basic principles of integrative healthcare identified by Dr. Weil himself: *

Nina CashmanDecember 18, 2023 Comments

A Letter To The Employer

The improvement of human wellbeing happens when we effectively create healthy environments. So, let’s talk about the environment that impacts almost all of us, whether directly or indirectly– the work environment.

Every employment partnership is a two-way street – right? So, if employees are going to manage their wellbeing successfully, then their employers must foster a healthy work environment.

“So, what are organizations doing about it? Not enough, apparently. Fewer than one in four employees say their organization cares about their wellbeing – nearly half the number who said the same before the COVID-19 pandemic rocked the workplace” (Gallup & Workhuman, 2023, p.2).

I’ve decided to contribute to human wellbeing in the workplace by writing a letter. It’s addressed to employers who could benefit from learning why their most valued employees are on the verge of burnout. If you think your organization is ready to have an honest dialogue about what it will take to increase wellbeing and minimize burnout and turnover, feel free to adjust this for your own use. I double-dog dare you.

Nina CashmanDecember 6, 2023Pave Your Way Comments

Challenge Can Make You Happy

November 1st, 2023, marks the 9th anniversary of my coaching practice, Pave Your Way. While I was tempted this week to respond to my assignment of “describing a vision for a viable business” with a brilliant new business concept that could “make the world a better place,” a voice inside me tugged with these words – “appreciate where you are.”

Nina CashmanNovember 10, 2023Pave Your Way Comments

Make History Sexy Again

“Studying the events of time – history – is as important as studying science, if not more important – it helps you understand what man is.” (John Little, 2021).

Nina CashmanNovember 8, 2023Pave Your WayComment