Allow The Story to Unfold

How Music & Benjamin Zander Remind Us To Enjoy The Process of Life

Written by: Nina Cashman

Learnings from M.A. in Happiness Studies (Article # 6)

January 8, 2024

How many opportunities do we miss by skipping too quickly to an end goal, an outcome, or an instantaneous answer that gives us a momentary grasp of control but prohibits any experience from unfolding?

Think about it. When did your haste of needing an answer before there were any answers block you from getting anywhere? Moreover, how could these impulses to skip over life’s processes to reach goals have prohibited your visions from unfolding?

In his powerful TED Talk, the great Conductor and Music Director of the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra, Benjamin Zander, describes how to listen to Chopin by highlighting the piece’s “deceptive cadence,” as it teases the anticipated end note multiple times throughout the piece before finally hitting it, of course, at the very end.

In doing so, Zander describes how the famous French composer told his story –

“Chopin did not want to reach the E there [earlier] because what would have happened? It’ll be over” (Zander, 2008).

As with any great novel, Chopin and all classical composers are telling a story.

While a good story will keep us curious about its conclusion, an ending is meaningless without going through the joys, pains, trials, and tribulations that lead its characters to their fates.

When Zander sits down at the piano to grace his audience with his rendition of Chopin during his TED Talk, he explains,

“This is about vision. This is about the long line, like a bird who flies over the field and doesn’t care about the fences underneath. So, now you are going to follow the line all the way from B to E” (Zander, 2008).

The takeaway? Music creates a natural synthesis between our human experiences and our life force. Because of its ability to weave a story without words, classical music “stirs one’s soul, rearranges one’s molecules, turns one’s being inside out. It gives you a new insight on life, a new place to stand, a new range of experiences” (Labarre, 1998). Like the joys, tribulations, and boredom of life, classical music reminds us to be patient, appreciate our contribution capacity, and allow life’s processes to unfold. Maybe Zander is right – “Classical music is for everybody. Everybody” (Zander, 2008).

As a Lead Trainer for iPEC (the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching), I learned about a funny bumper sticker I believe iPEC’s founder, Bruce D. Schneider, once saw. It says,

“Having a wonderful time, wish I was here.”

Whenever we bring up this clever little one-liner in our training rooms, it always leads to a few chuckles, followed by a contemplative silence. A void filled with the realization of our propensity to rush to the end – eating to finish, not to taste and enjoy – listening to talk, not to hear and learn – working to win, not to grow and contribute.

In our Western culture, where dying seems to be one of our ultimate fears, it is a wonder why we are constantly rushing towards death instead of fully engaging in our “capacity to flow with the forces of life” (Labarre, 1998). And, oh, what a force life is.

Learning about Benjamin Zander this week reminds me how classical music stimulates meaning, motivation, and a full range of emotions. It reminds us of the true nature of our living experience, which is not just about feeling “up” all the time. Zander says,

“It’s about full engagement, about firing on all cylinders, it’s about wow” (Derrow, 2016).

However, much of what we listen to today is “tamed music so that it is comfortable,” unlike, say, Beetoven’s Fifth Symphony for example, which is “an attack – on complacency, on the status quo, on the way people see things. He was shaking his fist at humanity. (Labarre, 1998). Zander wants to awaken people to this spirit. It is a spirit of “full engagement” and it seems to involve embracing life's discomforts. Yet, it seems too easy to seek comfort and complacency instead. The old saying goes, the devil you know is better than the devil you do not know.

In my own life, pushing fiercely towards goals has given me a socially acceptable way to avoid discomfort. Goals have always helped me to leap over vulnerability and charge towards ego-feeding successes. At the same time, starting at the beginning to patiently enjoy the more scenic pathways of growth has been a less comfortable road for my soul. While a fixation on goals is not uncommon, especially in the business world, it can often keep us in what Zander calls “the Success-Failure Game, which “runs in an endless win-lose cycle – which means that the people in it live with a sense of anxiety and fear” (Labarre, 1998).

As any musical instrument contributes to the rich sound of an orchestra, we all have a unique capacity to contribute. As Zander puts it, this is “the Contribution Game.”

“It is easy: You wake up in the morning, convince yourself for a few minutes that you are a contribution, and you go out and contribute. Then you go to bed and do it again the next day” (Labarre, 1998).

When I focus on bringing value into my work, whether with a client or a prospect, my actions shift entirely towards delivering something meaningful to the people we serve. Ironically, this typically results in people wanting to engage with us.

After this week, I am convinced that classical music tells the story of our lives, and it compels me to listen to it more often. With its intensity and long stretches of musical landscape that stimulate either big emotions or a need for patience, it reminds us to experience the story the composer is telling. Enjoy the piece's vision and flow instead of getting hung up on every note.

Let the music of our lives surprise, delight, or jolt us as we allow our stories to unfold.

Before Zander sat down in his TED Talk to play Chopin, he explained,

“For me to join the ‘B’ to the ‘E,’ I have to stop thinking about every single note along the way and start thinking about the long, long line from ‘B’ to ‘E’” (Zander, 2008).

Reflecting on the contributions I still want to make in my lifetime, I cannot think of better words. Even if I die tomorrow, I want to fully embody every moment of life’s powerful vision and enjoy the music along the way.

References

Derrow, Paula. “Conductor of Joy | Live Happy.” Www.livehappy.com, 2016, www.livehappy.com/creativity/conductor-of-joy.

Labs, D. I. “Interviews and Presentations.” Ben Zander, 2008, www.benjaminzander.org/collection/interviews-and-presentations/?content=fast-company-leadership. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

Zander, Benjamin. “The Transformative Power of Classical Music.” Ted.com, TED Talks, 2018, www.ted.com/talks/benjamin_zander_the_transformative_power_of_classical_music.