Bring On The Mess

So, accepting rather than resisting the normal human “messiness” we often face brings us one step closer to a phenomenon I like to refer to as “empowered powerlessness.” This is when we allow our old definitions and judgments of ourselves and the world around us to melt away, so we can create space to hear, see, and feel the infinite wisdom of the vast world around us. It is when we fully integrate the concept of “I do not know what I do not know” – and suddenly, wow, the world becomes a more interesting, magical place! I love how Wheatley reinforces this idea –

“The world becomes ever more fearsome as we realize the depths of our ignorance and confront our true powerlessness. Yet it is from this place, from an acknowledgment of our ignorance and lack of power, the call can go out for a new story” (Wheatley, 1998).

How Do You Perceive Stress?

Dr. Kelly McGonigal of Stanford University has done some amazing studies on stress and how it impacts people who view it as harmful versus helpful.

Get A Life!

That’s right, when I look back, I can clearly see that the parts of my life I was neglecting, could have actually helped me show-up less stressed and more at ease in the parts of my life that I was heavily pushing.

There’s something to be said about the concept of “well-roundedness.” Let’s just say that I’ve come to notice that when I expand my focus beyond a narrow fixation, all pressure and stress diminishes, allowing for a wider, more expansive perspective to come into my awareness. With this, comes a sense of peace and calm, as I playfully engage with a vast array of broader possibilities.

To illustrate this point, I love to use iPEC’s (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) “Wheel Of Life.” Of course, what I’m about to describe is my own interpretation of this model.

Goals, Shmoals

As I contemplate the new year ahead, there’s a word I’m suddenly finding disempowering, and it’s surprises even me! It’s the word that so many of us think of around this time of year, too – as one calendar closes and a new one opens. The word? GOAL.

I know, I know, I’m an Executive and Career Transition coach and I just admitted something seemingly sacrilegious within my field. Heck, I’ve written content on how to craft goals that draw us in with excitement and motivation. Yet, this year, the idea of pushing a list of goals into the world isn’t really inspiring me in any way, shape or form. If you’re like me, or many of my clients who’ve worked within a corporate setting, you too might find yourself having a visceral reaction to the word “GOAL.” Maybe you’re experiencing that funny feeling right now, at the mere mention of word! You know the one…

Yes, My Humanity Transcends My Title

As I’ve seen with so many of my courageous clients, friends and family members, transformation almost always happens when we do our best to neutrally grasp what’s happening, while also taking full ownership to accept our own emotions, even the painful ones.

So, for what it’s worth, below is a list of some of my most painful emotions, released out of the proverbial bag. I’m going to acknowledge them first, and then seek guidance from their intelligence, rather than continue to allow them to hold me back. There’s always a solution on the other side of our problems – challenges and possibilities exist on two sides of the exact same coin.

The Magical Space Between Doing and Being

So, what are we to do when our daily status-quo becomes unbearable, and at the same time, we have no clue what else to do?

Here’s a new analogy for you – enter the “runway,” which I think, offers a solid visual depiction to the answer. When I visualize a runway, I think of a long stretch of road that prepares us for flight (or landing). Along this path are visual markers and air traffic controllers, who guide us in the right direction; at least, if we choose to pay attention.

On a runway, we don’t take-off or land immediately, we move – either slowly or speedily. It’s not a place to sit completely still, nor is it designed for us to take-off abruptly. A runway is simply a space to experiment with movement, gain a sense of direction, and build momentum, as we prepare for take-off.

Despite What Your Guru Says... Higher consciousness is not without problems

Here’s my question – since when did the existence of problems become… well… such a problem?

Sometimes we humans really do feel drained by our circumstances, and pretending this isn’t the case is often the root of much bigger problems.

Sometimes we do experience difficulties, and when we refuse to acknowledge them, they just get heavier and more burdensome.

It seems to me that only when we face our perceived problems, we give ourselves the chance to get the most wildly creative. And, if we could just allow problems to exist without ignoring, avoiding, or judging them, then perhaps they’d become less perpetuating, and more opportunistic.

Nina CashmanJuly 13, 2021Pave Your Way#paveyourway, #careertransition, #lifetransition, #careercoaching, #change, #thebigshiftComment

Are You Falling For These Cliche Traps?

Career Coaching, Leadership Development, Life Coaching, Personal GrowthNina CashmanNovember 30, 2020Pave Your Way#careertransition, #careercoaching, #paveyourway, #pavechallenge Comments

5 Myths Worth Challenging

I see so many people out there making ridiculous assumptions and spreading misinformation about what’s needed to successfully make a career or life transition. Today, I’d like to take a moment to clear-up some of the biggest myths and misunderstandings that swirl around out there.

6 Stepping Stones of Career and Life Transition

“What do I want to be when I grow up?”

Has this question come back to haunt you lately?

It sure haunted me about seven years ago, when I decided to pivot from my longtime career in marketing and advertising to becoming a dedicated mom, and founder of my own coaching practice.

If you’re like me, or most people who are contemplating a career or life transition, chances are you’ve given this question, and others like it, a bit of thought; but, you probably haven’t paused for long, because everything else in your world is commanding your attention – your work, your family, your friends, your school, your email accounts, the latest news headlines, social media posts… ALL OF THAT NOISE that surrounds all of us!

So, how do we typically manage all of this?

I'll Tell You Mine, If You Tell Me Yours: What's Your 'Why'?

Yet, all the while, despite my directionless drift, confusion and daily grasping, something inside of me kept nagging with the message – “there’s more for you.” And, amidst so many other life priorities and to-do lists, the mere thought of creating new possibilities for myself just felt too overwhelming.

So, I chose to bury the idea of trying anything new, in exchange for playing it safe. It just felt plain easier to deal with the devil I knew, than to confront the one I didn’t know. Besides, I had gotten pretty darn good at running myself ragged, and barely staying afloat ; ). I was a "survivor."

Then, something major happened in my life, and it changed everything. Our first son was born.

Create Space For The World To Respond

A few years ago, I took a big leap. I left a field that I knew for my entire career. It brought me many successes, and my future was looking bright. Yet, something was missing for me, and I was ready to take a chance and branch out on my own.

I felt like I was starting over – I was facing a vast unknown that could either succeed or completely fail. Since then, I’ve experienced quite the roller coaster ride. There have been some incredibly exciting highs and plenty of tiring lows.

Regardless of the ups or downs, I’ve continued to stick with a master plan, which is to consistently plug away at mastering my craft. And, you know what I’ve come to learn? The concept of trust isn’t just important when we take that initial leap of faith. That’s just the starting point.

Trust becomes even more important after the adrenaline, excitement, and hype of our first big decisions wear down. Trust is the only thing that keeps us connected with whatever is possible; especially, when we confront challenges, lulls or situations that just don’t quite pan out as we expected.

In a proverbial sense, trust creates a vast invisible web of opportunities. And, when we remember to honor it, we loosen our grip from what “has to” happen, and exchange it for possibilities that we could have never dreamed of on our own.

In the time it took me to jump off a giant career cliff and build a steady, successful coaching business, I’ve learned a thing or two. The overarching theme of it all boils down to giving the world some damn space to deliver what we want.

So, what are we to do when our daily status-quo becomes unbearable, and at the same time, we have no clue what else to do?

Here’s my question – since when did the existence of problems become… well… such a problem?

So, here’s where we can start: