: ) How To Be Happy Even If The Election Makes You Unhappy : (

Call me an optimist or maybe even a realist, but I cannot bring myself to believe that half of our nation’s citizens are just plain stupid or wrong. I have too much faith in humankind. However, I admit many people will be unhappy with the final election results. So, I’ve decided to draw on the writings of the great French Philosopher and Mathematician Emilie Du Chatelet to inspire half of us to stay happy, regardless of the election’s outcome.

In her “Discourse on Happiness,” written in the mid-eighteenth century, Du Chatelet recommends several ways to increase our happiness. She goes so far as to say, “As long as we prefer to endure life, we must open ourselves to pleasure by all the doors leading to our soul; we have no other business” (Du Chatelet, 1746).

So, here are some simple ways to live a happy and fulfilling life, no matter the outcome of the presidential election:

Bring On The Mess

So, accepting rather than resisting the normal human “messiness” we often face brings us one step closer to a phenomenon I like to refer to as “empowered powerlessness.” This is when we allow our old definitions and judgments of ourselves and the world around us to melt away, so we can create space to hear, see, and feel the infinite wisdom of the vast world around us. It is when we fully integrate the concept of “I do not know what I do not know” – and suddenly, wow, the world becomes a more interesting, magical place! I love how Wheatley reinforces this idea –

“The world becomes ever more fearsome as we realize the depths of our ignorance and confront our true powerlessness. Yet it is from this place, from an acknowledgment of our ignorance and lack of power, the call can go out for a new story” (Wheatley, 1998).

“Just Be.” It Ain't Always So Easy.

“Just Be.” We hear it all the time. Feeling stressed? “Just be.” Anxious? “Just be.” Running around like a busy chicken with your head cut off? “Just be.” Overactive mind? “Easy, JUST BE!”

I want to take a moment and validate anyone who has ever felt slightly perplexed by the statement “just be.” Life involves doing… and for many of us, maybe depending on your stage of life, LOTS OF IT.

How Do You Perceive Stress?

Dr. Kelly McGonigal of Stanford University has done some amazing studies on stress and how it impacts people who view it as harmful versus helpful.

Happiness. It's What's for Dinner.

Here’s what I’ve noticed. For some, it seems happiness isn’t enough – instead, words like “bliss,” “joy,” “manifestation,” or “infinite possibility” are preferred. I even recently heard someone refer to those choosing happiness as “living in a happiness fractal” ; )! As if the pursuit of one’s well-being is somehow inadequate? I must say, this statement made me laugh… quite happily!

Real Happiness Takes Practice

Of all the things I have learned so far in this master’s program on “Happiness Studies,” ranging from methods and techniques that develop physical and emotional wellness to rituals that strengthen mental and spiritual well-being, for me, two concepts underscore all of it: 1) growth mindset and 2) the permission to be human. Without these two fundamentals, it seems unlikely that any individual, government, leader, or society will “shape better policies and prescriptions for the future” (McMahon, 2018).

Get A Life!

That’s right, when I look back, I can clearly see that the parts of my life I was neglecting, could have actually helped me show-up less stressed and more at ease in the parts of my life that I was heavily pushing.

There’s something to be said about the concept of “well-roundedness.” Let’s just say that I’ve come to notice that when I expand my focus beyond a narrow fixation, all pressure and stress diminishes, allowing for a wider, more expansive perspective to come into my awareness. With this, comes a sense of peace and calm, as I playfully engage with a vast array of broader possibilities.

To illustrate this point, I love to use iPEC’s (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) “Wheel Of Life.” Of course, what I’m about to describe is my own interpretation of this model.

Goals, Shmoals

As I contemplate the new year ahead, there’s a word I’m suddenly finding disempowering, and it’s surprises even me! It’s the word that so many of us think of around this time of year, too – as one calendar closes and a new one opens. The word? GOAL.

I know, I know, I’m an Executive and Career Transition coach and I just admitted something seemingly sacrilegious within my field. Heck, I’ve written content on how to craft goals that draw us in with excitement and motivation. Yet, this year, the idea of pushing a list of goals into the world isn’t really inspiring me in any way, shape or form. If you’re like me, or many of my clients who’ve worked within a corporate setting, you too might find yourself having a visceral reaction to the word “GOAL.” Maybe you’re experiencing that funny feeling right now, at the mere mention of word! You know the one…

Yes, My Humanity Transcends My Title

As I’ve seen with so many of my courageous clients, friends and family members, transformation almost always happens when we do our best to neutrally grasp what’s happening, while also taking full ownership to accept our own emotions, even the painful ones.

So, for what it’s worth, below is a list of some of my most painful emotions, released out of the proverbial bag. I’m going to acknowledge them first, and then seek guidance from their intelligence, rather than continue to allow them to hold me back. There’s always a solution on the other side of our problems – challenges and possibilities exist on two sides of the exact same coin.

The Magical Space Between Doing and Being

So, what are we to do when our daily status-quo becomes unbearable, and at the same time, we have no clue what else to do?

Here’s a new analogy for you – enter the “runway,” which I think, offers a solid visual depiction to the answer. When I visualize a runway, I think of a long stretch of road that prepares us for flight (or landing). Along this path are visual markers and air traffic controllers, who guide us in the right direction; at least, if we choose to pay attention.

On a runway, we don’t take-off or land immediately, we move – either slowly or speedily. It’s not a place to sit completely still, nor is it designed for us to take-off abruptly. A runway is simply a space to experiment with movement, gain a sense of direction, and build momentum, as we prepare for take-off.

Are You Falling For These Cliche Traps?

Career Coaching, Leadership Development, Life Coaching, Personal GrowthNina CashmanNovember 30, 2020Pave Your Way#careertransition, #careercoaching, #paveyourway, #pavechallenge Comments

5 Myths Worth Challenging

I see so many people out there making ridiculous assumptions and spreading misinformation about what’s needed to successfully make a career or life transition. Today, I’d like to take a moment to clear-up some of the biggest myths and misunderstandings that swirl around out there.