Written for Pave Your Way

By: Anna Rindt

Anyone who plays or follows the game of tennis knows that as sports go, it is one of the most mentally demanding. On a quiet court, just you and your opponent, with down time between each point, your thoughts are yours alone. No matter your skill, regardless of the power of your groundstrokes or softness of your hands at the net, no matter if your serve is on or your forehand is killing it that day, thoughts intrude. Your confidence, your mindset, your PRESENCE can make or break a match result.

In tennis - and in life - our thoughts, our attitude, ALWAYS sets the tone for success or failure.

Today, I played an incredible tennis player. She is a friend, a drilling partner, a gal whose game I know (and respect) – and she knows mine. So I wasn’t surprised when we had a chat together before our match started, but I was surprised by what she said.

“I don’t know why my coach put me on line #1. You are better than I am. I’ll try to give you a decent game. I’m sorry.” Our match hadn’t even started, and she was admitting defeat. Heck, she was APOLOGIZING to me before we had even hit one ball.

And, as the match started, I saw the mental defeat she had already conceded. Her shoulders were slumped, her movement sluggish, her timing off. She was a self-fulfilling prophecy of mis-hits, wayward balls, head shakes and frustration. I quickly jumped to a 4-0 lead, taking advantage of the half-player on the other side of the net.

I could practically hear her thoughts: of course, this is happening to me. I can’t win. I am not good enough.

I know, because I have had these same thoughts myself. Mental tennis is all about momentum and confidence. You play well, you win, and you play even better. Wins are celebrated momentarily, until the next game, until the next inevitable loss. Losses are remembered and rehashed and RELIVED.

**Losses make loud the voice in your head I’m not good enough.**

In tennis – and in life – it’s easy to focus on our weaknesses, our losses, our fears. Focusing on our strengths, our wins, our potential seems somehow ego-centric, cocky, rude. Even if it’s the voice IN OUR OWN HEAD for goodness sakes. Shouldn’t our own voice be ego-centric?

What would life look like if we silenced that voice in our heads?

What if I’m not good enough were…. I am worthy?

What if I don’t deserve to be here were… I am here. I am ready to do my best.

My best is enough.

Well, I think we all know what would happen – our jobs, our relationships, our pursuits, our tennis games, our LIVES would be better. We would go in – every day – every moment - believing in ourselves. Self-belief cannot be underestimated. Of course, we would still have ups and downs, moments of joy and sadness, inspiring wins and crushing losses, but we would be meeting all that on OUR terms, with confidence in our ability to adapt, overcome and learn from whatever life throws at us.

And maybe, just maybe that bit of confidence would inspire us to take a chance, push ourselves just a bit from our comfort zone, try something new. Maybe others will notice too. After all, self-belief can be intimidating or inspiring and either can work in our favor.

As I write this, I know keeping a positive mindset is harder said than done. Deep down, I think we all know that believing in ourselves will have a positive effect, but why is it so darn hard to do? Why do we let the negative in? Why in the silence before the next point to do we let those thoughts crowd our minds – the ones that drag us down, the ones that lie to us about what we are capable of?

Maybe just acknowledging the doubt that lies in our own minds can help us overcome it. Maybe it takes grit and practice and effort to break our habit of tearing ourselves down. Maybe the work is worth it.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what happened in our tennis match…

Well, my opponent did finally get out of her own head. She started playing HER game. She started to remember her talent and hard work and worthiness. And then she won the set, and then the match.