written by Nina Cashman

Five Steps For Increasing Your Intuitive Connection

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us to discern what we would do in another person’s shoes, yet at the very same time, struggle with a decision of our own? Why is it so easy to see things with complete clarity when it comes to a situation outside of ourselves, and in the same moment, feel foggy about a situation presented within our own lives?

Whether dealing with a big decision related to a career, or contemplating what to do within a particular relationship, knowing what’s best can get tough when personal feelings cloud our perspectives.

Let’s face it, we simply don’t have the same emotional attachment to other peoples’ choices or dilemmas as we do to our own. So, the easiest way to get past the haze of our own emotions, especially when it comes to major decisions, is to tap into the wisest part of ourselves -- our intuition.

So, how do we establish a strong connection with our intuition? Here are some helpful tips for accessing it:

1) Make an effort to connect with your intuition, regularly.

So what is your intuition anyway? It’s an inner knowing -- that guiding voice of clarity and reason, amongst any emotional storm. Sometimes, the best way to connect with our intuition is to physically remove ourselves from all outside stimulation, and make a conscious effort to go inside and find that inner voice.

Moving or sitting meditation can help, such as going for a quite walk or run outside, or simply sitting in still silence for 10 to 20 minutes to establish a connection.

When engaging in these activities, we can make a conscious effort to connect to our intuition by literally calling on it to guide us on a particular topic, or question. Always take note of what comes-up when you do this. Interestingly, sometimes our inner voice tells us things that are different from what our egos want us to hear.

2) Look at your situation through a 3rd party lens.

Sometimes the easiest way to connect with our intuition, is to give ourselves a bird’s eye view of our own situation. This way, we can see the situation beyond the clouds of emotion that are likely fogging our perspectives. The easiest way to step outside of the emotion connected to our own problems, is to make an effort to put ourselves into the shoes of a 3rd party.

One exercise I love is to pretend that you are your own best friend, who is hearing your story for the first time. What questions would be most important for her/him to know? Jot down those questions, and then, take the time to answer them for yourself. Step away from your answers for a while, and then re-read them a little later. After reviewing your answers, ask yourself what advice you’d give your own best friend in this very same situation? Listen to this advice – it’s coming from the wisest part of you.

3) Know the difference between external interpretations and inner truths.

Watch out for making personal decisions based on what we think another person does or doesn’t expect from us. Also, are we taking action only to stimulate a reaction in someone else? It’s impossible to get inside the minds of other people, and the dynamics of the external world can easily change on a coin flip. The world outside of our own hearts is unpredictable. Most importantly, the only person who really knows what’s best for you at the end of the day, is quite obviously, YOU.

We need to ask ourselves, regardless of what others might think, what can we really live with in the end? And, thinking beyond ourselves, what is ultimately the best long-term decision for everyone involved? If we were our own mothers or fathers, how would we tell ourselves to move forward? Write these thoughts down, so they can really sink in.

4) Take note of “towards” vs. “away” goals.

Take a piece of paper and divide it in half. Write down all of your reasons for moving forward with a potential action and then categorize them as either something that is bringing you closer to what you want, which falls in the “towards” category, or steering you away from something you don’t want, or are simply trying to avoid and afraid to face, which falls in the “away” category. Pay serious attention if the majority of your reasoning falls within the “away” category.

Remember, we cannot run away from our fears and problems – they will simply follow us to every new setting, until we learn to address them head-on. When we find ourselves running away from something, then we are likely disconnected from the guidance of our intuition, which is always aiming to steer us towards our greatest potential. In a nutshell, it's important to make sure our “towards list” is longer than our “away list,” prior to taking action.

5) Decipher your Truth from other peoples’ stories.

Sometimes, people around us have such strong emotional reactions to whatever is happening within their lives, that they unconsciously take it upon themselves to pull us into their personal dramas. Before we know it, we’ve allowed ourselves to adopt their moods, or ideas and storylines, even though they don’t actually belong to us. For instance, we might take-on someone else’s anger and frustration by reacting to their anger with our own frustration, or allowing our happiness and contentment to be contingent upon them.

When we are able to recognize that we are entraining to another person’s energy or attitude, versus walking in accordance with who we really are, how we want to feel and what we want to experience, then we are able to recognize an important misalignment. Awareness alone makes us 90% more in-tune with our own intuition.

When you notice yourself going too deep into a perceived reality, other than your own, take a moment to ask yourself, “how true is that story, really?” Then, make a list and get clear with what parts of the story belong to you, versus what belongs to another person. From there, begin to focus your energy on developing the themes that really matter to you. Do your best to remain compassionate of other people’s feelings, while not taking them on as your own.

Allowing the world outside of us to guide our actions and decisions, is like letting a wild and unpredictable animal live inside of our homes – we will always be taming, running or hiding, until it ultimately eats us alive. Talk about a fear-based existence.

Our safe harbor is our intuition, which is always within us, even when we cannot hear what it has to say. To access it, we just need to make more of a concerted effort to re-establish a connection with that part of ourselves that knows everything will be okay, and always wants the best for us.

Again, sometimes it may guide us differently than what everyone else around us expects. Just remember, everyone else doesn’t have to walk in our shoes and they certainly aren’t the ones living our lives. So, make a point to connect with your intuition often, listen to what has to say, and even when it’s not exactly what you want to hear, have the courage to trust in its guidance anyway.

Find this article and others like it on yourtango.com.

How To Trust Your Intuition