If You Can't Trust You, Then Who?
written by Nina Cashman
Sometimes clients come to me with a clear expectation of wanting me to deliver pieces of breakthrough advice. Now, don’t get me wrong, the path to self transformation is colored with a multitude of personal breakthroughs along the way. But what makes them so monumental is the fact that we are able to process new pieces of information on our own. This aids us with personal buy-in to more easily embrace new ways of thinking.
Breakthroughs are not imposed by the advice of others. Breakthroughs come from within, and because of this, they are able to shed new light into our lives. There’s a saying that goes “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I think this means that people are able to learn and process new information when they are prepared to think about it on their own. After all, no one can force another person to adopt a thought – a person has to be willing to adopt thoughts when they are ready, in order to transform their own thoughts into real feelings and purposeful actions.
The best advice really comes to us when we are answering our own questions. This is why I love the process of coaching and the use of open ended questions. People always know what’s best for themselves, yet ironically, they easily lose sight of their own intrinsic powers to purposely guide their own direction. It’s so easy to turn to the external world and ask for validation about what’s “right” and “wrong,” or better yet, confirmation about what we “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing.
When is the last time that you sat yourself in a quite space and asked yourself out-loud the very questions you are asking people within the world around you? It’s amazing what answers arise when we simply take the time to ask ourselves what we think, what we want, or even who we are, as well as listen to what we have to say about it. Seriously, who is going to shed the most intelligent guiding light about what’s best for YOU in YOUR life other than yourself? Bingo – nobody!
You and only you know what’s best for yourself. Trust yourself and your own internal wisdom – because your own personal trust builds the foundation for trusting others. And, if you aren’t willing to trust your own advice first, then the proverbial “teacher” you are waiting for might never appear. You are your own best guide. Trust yourself.