Paving vs. Proving

written by Nina Cashman

Most of us would embrace the point-of-view that proof is necessary to validate any claim. This seems as logical as cause and effect, right? I actually think there is an important nuance between validating life’s experiences in search of proof points, versus evaluating the effects of where you are and how you got there, due to the root causes of your thoughts and actions.

When we embark on a new life journey, explore an unchartered territory, or simply grow and expand into the people we want to be, we often search outside of ourselves for “proof” or validation that our ideas are worthy or even possible. Meanwhile, the effects of what actually grows into our reality stem from our own internal beliefs. So, doubt in personal capabilities leads to tentative actions and weak outcomes, while sincere belief in personal aptitude leads to purposeful actions and strong results.

So, what does any of this have to do with YOU?

All too often, we get stuck on the idea that we need external proof to validate our own ideal image of ourselves and our lives, before we get started on something that’s important to us. In other words, if there are no external signals to prove that what we want is truly possible, we quickly turn a blind eye to our ideal images, and then block ourselves from growing into them.

This ultimately keeps us small and derails us from fulfilling our own potential. And worse yet, we may even overextend ourselves beyond what’s reasonable, just to “prove” a point (or two, or three) to everyone outside of us that we really are worthy. This is what I like to call the “eddy of proving,” or the endless cycle of trying to prove ourselves to everyone else, instead of just simply believing in ourselves and pursuing our passions for ourselves… even if the so-called validating “proof” has yet to be seen.

Let me tell you the difference between proving and paving. Ironically, real proof, and I’m talking proof with a capital “P,” only really comes to us when we set-out to pave the way for what we really want. The cause is an innate belief that you really can do it and the effect is the proof that you actually did do it (so there : )!). If you embrace this philosophy, then there’s no need to wait around for external proof to validate what you already know to be true inside yourself.

If you want something, then you are without a doubt capable of getting it. Yes, it will most likely take a lot of work and a few failures along the way; but, rather than wasting time proving your worth to an audience that may never seem supportive without it, why not just begin to blaze your own trail towards your goals, and see what actually happens when you make an concerted effort to get what you want?

It’s amazing how effortless hard work actually feels when we are pursuing things that inspire us. Not to mention, when you make real efforts to breathe life into your ideas with real actions and genuine purpose, then the pathways you pave automatically become visible to others.  Now, this is proof with a capital “P.”

The next time you think you have to overextend yourself to prove to others that you can, why not just embody the mindset of a paver and focus yourself on actually developing the skills, creating space and simply doing whatever it takes to grow into the ideal person you envision? Remember, “proof” will come as a natural result of your actual efforts. And, efforts are driven by whatever root causes or beliefs reside within you.

So, rather than thinking about how you can state your claim to the world (proving), I recommend taking steps to actually stake your claim (paving). And, remember, knowing what you want is all the proof you really need to get started. Just BE what you want before it happens, and then, simply watch the proof points grow from there.