“Just Be.” It Ain't Always So Easy.
WANT TECHNIQUES TO “JUST BE”? Check out this article: “Types of Meditation — An Overview of 23 Meditation Techniques” (Dienstmann, Live & Dare, 2018)
May 30, 2024
“Just Be.” We hear it all the time. Feeling stressed? “Just be.” Anxious? “Just be.” Running around like a busy chicken with your head cut off? “Just be.” Overactive mind? “Easy, JUST BE!”
So, how is someone who is experiencing high arousal levels associated with stress, anxiety, and over-activity supposed to suddenly convert to the low arousal states of calm and relaxation implied by “just be”?
Telling someone who feels busy and overloaded to “just be” is like telling someone who feels angry to “calm down.” We all know this rarely works, or goes well ; ). Why? Because “calm” is not an emotional cousin of the many states, we call on it to shift, like stress, anxiety and overactivity.
I want to take a moment and validate anyone who has ever felt slightly perplexed by the statement “just be.” Life involves doing… and for many of us, maybe depending on your stage of life, LOTS OF IT.
I often joke with my friends that I not only run a business, but I’m also the personal/executive assistant of our two boys, who are 11 & 12. Between work and raising kiddos, we’re constantly planning, scheduling, and yes, I’ll admit it… doing. The good news? Even when I’m “doing” or even “overdoing,” I’m still “just being.” Being is inherent to who I am, all the time — as a HUMAN BEING!
Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate our beloved mantra — “just be.” I use it myself. What I don’t appreciate is the implied judgment that it’s somehow always supposed to be easy. Like we all should be able to shift into some spiritual master, effortlessly and spontaneously, at any given moment and all the time. If it were always easy to connect with our highest state of being all the time, then we wouldn’t have to remind ourselves to do it in the first place.
See the irony? Sometimes, to BE, we have to DO. We say it. We write it. We practice it.
For those looking for a good starting point to “just be,” I’ve posted a link above to a great article with an overview of 23 meditation techniques. Meditation is a perfect example of how hard it can be to “just be.” So, instead of attaching any expectations of what it’s supposed to feel like in the beginning—i.e., that “just be” feeling—I recommend simply showing up and consistently doing it. Then, see what happens over time.