written by Nina Cashman

“What do I want to be when I grow up?”

Has this question come back to haunt you lately?

It sure haunted me about seven years ago, when I decided to pivot from my longtime career in marketing and advertising to becoming a dedicated mom, and founder of my own coaching practice.

If you’re like me, or most people who are contemplating a career or life transition, chances are you’ve given this question, and others like it, a bit of thought; but, you probably haven’t paused for long, because everything else in your world is commanding your attention – your work, your family, your friends, your school, your email accounts, the latest news headlines, social media posts… ALL OF THAT NOISE that surrounds all of us!

So, how do we typically manage all of this?

For many of us, we simply numb-out our deepest senses – the underlying desires and heartfelt urges, so we can keep-up with what we think the world wants from us. Or, other times, we may find ourselves turning to quick-fix books or programs that promise to deliver specific outcomes and results, without ever really knowing what we really want, or better yet, who we really are!

In all fairness, thorough introspection takes time and energy, so it’s no wonder most people skip it all together, and instead, jump straight into action. After all, our culture teaches us from a very young age, never to waste time and energy; but to instead, take results-oriented action… as soon as we can, and right away!

This mentality not only causes us to miss out on many of the world’s most magical signs that could offer us with the clearest guidance along the way, it can also cause us to skip some of life’s most important experiences – that can be found in life’s inevitable, transitional hallways.

I like to think of transitional hallways as those spaces we walk through after one door closes, as we move towards the next doorways of opportunity, so to speak. Sometimes these transitional spaces come and go quickly, and other times, they feel like they're never ending. And, for good reason, transitional periods can feel isolating, disconnecting and uncertain.

So, instead of exploring and honoring these transitional hallways that could guide us to the more aligned and meaningful possibilities, many of us seek quicker answers and chase outcomes in an effort to deliver more results, that often lead us in misguided directions, as we forcefully aim to open the next doorways without ever stopping.

It's complete madness, isn’t it?!?!

After years of working with hundreds of clients to navigate their career and life transitions – big and small, not to mention, remembering my own experience of transitioning from an industrious career-climbing corporate executive, to becoming a mom and entrepreneur, I’ve discovered a few key milestones, or “paving-stones,” as I like to call them : ), that will help move you through your next doorway of opportunity:

Paving Stone # 1: Pause and Reconnect with Yourself

This might feel counter-intuitive -- you may want to 'take action.' Yet, when you’re in the midst of transitional uncertainty, it’s probably not the best time to be seek immediate results. Instead, this is a time for deep self-exploration and reassessment of the world around you. And, this process begs for time, space and openness to experience and reorient your own personal definition of who you are, how you show-up, and what you really want out of life.

By the way, who you are and what you really want today, may look and feel a lot different from the past. And, in order to redirect your greatest strengths and attributes to channel them in a direction that feels right, and more aligned with you, you'll need to know yourself… in present time.

Whether it’s taking a vacation, or finding a few hours each week to focus solely on YOU, finding significant pauses in your schedule to reconnect with yourself is a must; especially, when you're about to embark on a major transition.

Paving Stone # 2: Re-write Your Rules

As you reconnect with yourself, you’ll begin to discover clear discrepancies between how you are actually living your life, and what’s really most important to you.

For instance, in my case, I remember how monumental it was for me to discover that I was actually neglecting my number one value – my family, by choosing a career that kept me away from them 90% of the workweek. No wonder I felt so much internal guilt and dissonance, each day that I drove into work.

This discovery caused me to reassess many of my life rules and concepts by which I was living that simply weren’t working anymore. Ideas like, “you’ve gotta’ put your nose to the grindstone to be successful and happy in life,” simply had to go.

It was time to develop new life concepts that were more supportive of the things I really wanted in life.

Paving Stone # 3: Meet Yourself Wherever You Are

Often times, when we make an effort to reconnect with the things that are most important to us, a lot of uncomfortable emotions can surface, including self-doubt about whether or not we're capable of building something better.

Yet, it’s the inability to push persistent emotions aside or ignore them any longer that often steers us towards our greatest opportunities. Isn’t that exciting? This means that maybe it’s time to STOP looking away from your nagging, uncomfortable urges, only to keep achieving more meaningless “results,” and instead, face your discomforts and fully lean into them!

Seriously, all BIG and SUCCESSFUL transitions start at a courageous turning point of awakening… or a “moment of reckoning,” so to speak. To admit that you hate your job, or you’ll never fully fit into the company culture you dislike so much, or better yet, that you were simply put on this earth to do something much more meaningful, are all examples of facing and listening to hard truths.

Whenever you have the spirit, courage and determination to explore the belief systems behind whatever is making you feel “off” in your life, then you’re inevitably ready to move into one of life’s exciting, and also a little scary, transitional hallways.

Paving Stone # 4: Visualize Your Possibilities

It’s hard to visualize yourself stepping into a new future; especially, when the routine of the past continues to drag you into its old, heavy abyss. Yet, once you make room for some new life rules, and fully accept the hard truths of what’s actually happening in your life, then you officially have room in your heart and mind to draw-in new possibilities.

When you visualize, it’s okay to dream big! The purpose of visualization is not to create an exact match of what your life is going to look like in the future. Instead, the power of visualization is really its ability to generate new feelings of inspiration and excitement that you can draw-on in present time.

So, the exact detail of your goals isn’t nearly as important as the energy and momentum the idea of those goals can deliver, in present time. Think of visualization as the new, clean energy that can power your life’s purpose forward : ).

Paving Stone # 5: Identify Small Steps of Appropriate Action

Once you physically experience your BIG visualization or goals, in present time, it’s time to start taking small steps of action. These are those projects and tasks that feel appropriate, based on both your strengths and current skill level.

Small steps of action will feel just right – they will challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone, without completely overwhelming you. Sometimes, I see clients trying to take giant leaps of action that under-appreciate where they actually are, emotionally, and capability-wise. While it might seem like big steps will take us further, they often delay progress, or cause us to give-up prematurely.

Trying to tackle challenges that are way too far beyond our current capabilities can lead to frustration and overwhelm. It’s actually much easier to be realistic about what’s possible for you now, and then take small steps of action from there. This way, there are plenty of little wins to celebrate along the way, giving us more momentum and inspiring energy to draft on, as we ultimately tackle the bigger wins!

Paving Stone # 6: Ritualize, Reflect and Persist

Developing healthy habits is a hallmark of any successful pursuit. And, one of the most healthy habits you can ritualize is to regularly reflect on what’s working and not working, so you can modify and adjust your plans, before taking your next steps.

Our ability to reflect on successes and failures, depends on whether or not we can develop a beginner’s mindset. Approaching the world like a beginner will help you find the courage to take more risks, making you less stifled by failure, and more capable of extracting lessons from every experience.

Capturing life lessons from all experiences, no matter how challenging, is what gives us fuel to persist. And, in my humble opinion, persistence is the difference between those who give-up on their dreams, and those who don’t.

WANT MORE?

Check-out my online group coaching program, the PAVE CHALLENGE!

It is designed to honor your transitional hallways and give you the TIME and SPACE to explore yourself, reconnect with your truths, and ultimately get to YOUR OWN answers and results by experiencing… not skipping over… the process of developing your personal presence, acceptance, vision and execution muscles.

All too often, so many other personal development programs solely focus on outcomes and results, and in doing so, they encourage you to SKIP over these growth-enriched transitional periods of life. Yet, these are the times when we could stand grow the most, if we take the time and space to really explore who we are and where we are.

The Pave Challenge won’t deliver you the answers, but it will deliver simple “paving stones,” to encourage your own answers, along with a sense of internal ease, clarity, confidence and motivation, so you’ll feel prepared and excited to walk through whatever doorway is next for you… with confidence and clarity!

So, if you’re in a place where you can actually feel your underlying potential, and yet, you aren’t quite sure how to activate it, OR you’re a successful and driven person, who somehow feels stuck and you aren’t sure why, then perhaps giving yourself the experience of the PAVE CHALLENGE is the very “result” you’re seeking.

I’m so excited to show you exactly how I’ve helped myself, and 100’s of clients, navigate their uncertain transitional hallways with clarity and confidence.